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Sep. 6th, 2016

imposter syndrome is the realest thing ever.

i feel paralysed and like i can't do any job-hunting because (i feel like) i'm not qualified to do anything.

i think this year is the first time in my life when i've thought on more than one occasion, "I wish I was old so that my life was over and I didn't have to worry about finding a job and doing things".

like, I've looked at my retired, 60-something year old parents and thought, "wow, they're so lucky their lives are over and they don't have to worry about achieving anything anymore or clearing and more life stages."

which is such a stupid thing to think, because i'm pretty sure they don't feel like that. but like, they're old, so they have nothing left to prove, they dgaf and aren't seeking anyone's approval. that sounds so great.

so yeah, sometimes i wish i was old, so i could just not gaf, but on the other hand, in other ways i AM getting old, so that soon all the perks of being young will have passed me by and i'll have to settle into middle age having no relationships, no job, etc.

Sep. 6th, 2016

every year is more stressful than the last O_O how does that happen

i just want to curl up in bed and never move and scroll through fashion blogs endlessly

anybody else feel like that sometimes?


^^^ the above is text restored from a draft I never posted. I wonder how long ago I wrote it. Funny how it still applies today.

Mar. 29th, 2016

every year is more stressful than the last O_O how does that happen

i just want to curl up in bed and never move and scroll through fashion blogs endlessly

anybody else feel like that sometimes?

random stuff

I'm enjoying a relative lull before the storm of real life catches up with me, and it's quite nice.

Here are some random things that have been entertaining me lately.

1. Tumblr. Omgness, I wish I had a tumblr just so I could join in on all the 50 shades of grey hate. :D

2. Tumblr. It provides all my joick pic needs. There are some beautiful pictures on there.

3. Fatshion blogs. Even though I'm a size average, fatshion blogs fascinate me. I love seeing the dress sense and creativity of bigger girls who don't want to walk around swathed in kaftans and who aren't afraid to break out a mini-skirt on occasion. 

4. Modesty fashion blogs. Again, I'm not Mormon, and most of these bloggers are. But I'm just fascinated by, like, their wholesomeness and tasteful layering and experimentation with thrifted clothes.

5. Curly hair care websites. I've tried the conditioning-only approach, and my sister asked me if I'd put gel in my hair...not the look I was going for. Now I've switched to 'cone-free conditioner and am planning to find sulfate-free shampoo as soon as I've used up my bottle of head and shoulders.

6. The Olympics. It's like a pleasant hum of noise in the background of our dinner conversations interspersed with occasional groans of disappointment, or yells of triumph. I think I'll miss it when it's over.

7. Finding fanfic rec lists and reading everything I can get my hands on. Loving it.

Tags:

First time listening through Thank you Camellia (fan edition) which just arrived today.

KRIS ALLEN YOU DO NOT DISAPPOINT.

MY WEAKNESS MAY BE THE BEST SONG EVER. BETTER WITH YOU SOUNDS EVEN MORE JOYFUL AND RICH THAN THE LIVE ACOUSTIC VERSIONS I FELL IN LOVE WITH ON YOUTUBE.

I SHOULD STOP ABUSING CAPSLOCK.

KRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. HIS VOICE MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT LIFE.

Update: OK AMAZING AMAZING KRIS ALLEN STOP BEING SO AMAZING IT'S RUINING ME.

"Blindfolded" tears me up and down and all the way through. It is EPIC.

fanfic has its uses

Hilarious but true.

Thanks to reading Kris' mechanical know-how in bexless' awesome Kradam AU!fic "Apples are not the only Fruit", I knew what to do when my car engine started to overheat!

My parents actually later asked, "Wow, how did you know what to do?" and I was like, "Uh...I just read it somewhere." :P

Thank you fanfic!

Writer's Block: International Skeptics Day

What are you skeptical about? (religion, ghosts, Toddlers and Tiaras, etc.)
global warming.

Addicted to fashion blogs

What are you skeptical about? (religion, ghosts, Toddlers and Tiaras, etc.)
I am so addicted to fashion blogs recently.

It's so much nicer and easier than agonizing over my thesis, and how confirmation is in 12 weeks and I've done nothing (basically).

Even though I'm not overweight by most definitions, I've been reading all these "fatshion" blogs, which led me to body acceptance blogs, which led to reading 232 comments on a post about female body hair.

I also ended up in a couple of modesty fashion blogs by Mormons, where I looked at some of the outfits and wondered what exactly made them "modest" as opposed to just "neat" and "well put together". (Maybe just the lack of mini-skirts and short-shorts?)

I look at all these outfits and feel quite inspired by some of them, then disappointed when I realise that I don't actually leave my bedroom, let alone my house, more than twice a week for purposes that require "decent" attire. 

Because the weather's been so hot and humid lately, I don't want to wear jeans, but I don't want to wear a skirt and thus look too "dressed up". Every time I've had to leave the house recently for private tutoring, I end up throwing on a button-up sleeveless cotton top, teamed with a pair of 3/4 elastic-waisted navy cargo pants (sounds sexy right?), and black beaded sandals/flip-flops.

The pants cost me $10 on sale, and they're perfect (in a highly unattractive, terribly frumpy way) because they're cooler than jeans, but they don't require leg hair removal. I've found a perfect (unattractive, daggy) option for the hot weather.

It makes me really enjoy going out for a dressed up purpose (i.e. people I actually know will be seeing and interacting with me), because then I actually put thought into an outfit (and wear make-up).

Anyway, to backtrack a little, looking at these fashion blogs led me to the same conclusion: that pleasantly slim, reasonably pretty girls with long hair can look good in just about anything they throw on and post on the internet.

The fatshion blogs showed me that no matter what their weight, women can be striking and confident in sky-high heels and red lipstick. Which, you know. Good for them. That's what red lipstick is for, isn't it?



tl;dr TQN edition

Here are my unfiltered thoughts on David Cook's EP, This Quiet Night. These are all purely my opinion and knee-jerk reactions, and even I think I might think something totally different in a few months! Enjoy!

 

 

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tl;dr. Srsly.

These are my unfiltered, snap judgments after listening to "This Loud Morning" a couple of times. I'd love this to act as a kind of starting point or springboard for people to disagree/agree, even though this is probably like, really old news to everyone now. I'm always late to the party :(

Just a warning - this is over 2000 words.

 

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